A softer December

I’ve spoken to a few people lately who told me that they don’t enjoy Christmas and that they quietly wait for it to pass, and hearing this made me reflect on how this season feels for me as well, because even though I still enjoy Christmas, I notice that I find myself enjoying the memories of the magic I felt as a child more than I enjoy what I have now, and maybe this is something many people feel unless they have children and can experience that magic again through them.

We are in the middle of December, the month that is supposed to be filled with joy. It’s the month of sparkling lights, family reunions, full tables, warm homes, decorated trees, colourful wrapped gifts and an expected brightness that should appear regardless of how someone actually feels inside. December often carries this quiet pressure to show that we are doing well, that we have people around us, that we have met our goals for the year and that we are ready to celebrate. And while this is true for some people and it’s genuinely wonderful, not everyone is in that space.

After speaking to different people, I realised how complicated December can be. For many, it’s not a month of sparkles at all. It’s a month that touches on sensitive topics. Some people struggle financially and feel the weight of living in a world where presents are expected. Some people are facing illness and cannot feel the magic of the season because their bodies are demanding more from them than usual. Some people are alone and December becomes a month where silence feels louder. Others have lost someone, and this season opens the door to painful memories and empty chairs at the table.

There are people who are in difficult relationships and the extra time together brings tension rather than warmth. There are people who don’t have a home to put a Christmas tree in. There are people who don’t celebrate Christmas at all because of their religion. December brings many realities together, and when the world is covered in lights and holiday music, all of these experiences can feel even more amplified.

There is a silent expectation to show up with a smile, to fit the shape of the season, to pretend we are festive even when we are not. But everyone has a different rhythm, a different story, and a different emotional landscape, especially at this time of year.

I started wondering what December would feel like if it wasn’t about the outside at all, not about the decorations or the noise or the gatherings,  but about the inside. A month where, instead of rushing, we pause after a long year and gently ask ourselves how we actually feel. A month where inner peace is not tied to presents or parties or a perfectly set table. A month where we acknowledge our journey rather than rushing to look successful or cheerful.

Maybe December could be the moment where we create our own traditions instead of following the ones society tells us we need to follow. We could choose a quiet evening instead of attending gatherings that drain us. We could eat what we truly like instead of what is expected. We could decorate if we want to, or not decorate at all.

Last year my Christmas tree was a stack of open books with lights wrapped around them, and it made me smile because it felt creative and true to where I was emotionally. This year, I decorated one of my house plants instead, realising I didn’t want to buy a tree only to throw it away after two weeks.

Maybe we don’t need to buy expensive gifts, and instead we send a thoughtful message, a warm email, a phone call, a gesture that feels sincere. Maybe we use this month to do something kind for people who are often unseen, the elderly who are alone, the homeless, the people carrying quiet burdens. Maybe we bring light because something inside us wants to.

For some, December is about family and reunion. For others, it’s about tranquillity and rest. For some, it’s about food and presents. For others, it’s about doing the best they can with what they have. Some people crave closeness, while others need distance from situations that don’t nurture them. No version is better than the other.

December, like any other month, should be a time when we feel comfortable being ourselves with the life we have, not the life we think we should have. Maybe this month can gently guide us back to something simple, something that brings peace to our hearts without the weight of expectations.

Love,

Rosie x