Your own best friend

A few years ago, I visited a Buddhist monastery, a peaceful place filled with stillness, trees, and early morning bells. While I was there, I formed a gentle friendship with a young nun. We shared quiet conversations over tea, sitting side by side overlooking the gardens, watching the wind move through the branches.

One afternoon, I asked her if she had a best friend in the monastery—perhaps someone from her country, someone close. She paused for a long moment. I could see she was really thinking about it, that question meant something to her, so she took the time to sit with it and find her answer. Then she said softly, almost like it was the most natural thing in the world:

“I have good friends here… but I am my own best friend.”

It took me a while to understand what that meant. At the time, the words felt unfamiliar, almost strange. But they stayed with me, they lingered and over time, they began to open something in me.

Because many of us live our lives seeking approval and direction outside ourselves. We look for validation in the eyes of others—our parents, mentors, lovers, friends. We chase answers in books, in teachers, in Google searches… without ever stopping to ask:

“But what do I feel?”

“What do I want?”

We lose touch with the quiet voice within—the one that knows.

Our intuition, our gut- our body’s subtle wisdom.

Instead, we look outward. We put others on pedestals, thinking they know better—especially if they speak with confidence,  they have more life experience,  they seem more polished or more sure of themselves.

But the truth is, no one can know what’s best for you better than you.

And if we don’t learn how to listen inward, we risk following advice or direction that pulls us away from our path—not because it’s wrong, but because it’s not ours.

This is why being your own best friend matters.

Not just in the poetic sense, but in a very real, embodied way.

It means learning to treat yourself with the same kindness and loyalty you would offer someone you love.

To speak to yourself with care. To check in with your needs.

To stop abandoning yourself in small ways—by ignoring your intuition, pushing past your limits, or staying quiet when your body says no.

I look around and I see so many people treating themselves as if they are their own worst enemy.. And I’ve been in that place too—where self-criticism felt louder than compassion.. I don't fully understand why this is happening, why do we chose what harms us instead of what nourishes us... but is very common.

Being your own best friend isn’t about softness alone.

It’s also about truth.

A true friend doesn’t just comfort you—they’re honest with you.

They call you forward. They say: “This isn’t right for you,” even when it’s hard to hear.

They have your back—not because it’s easy, but because they care.

That’s the kind of relationship we’re invited to create with ourselves.

To trust ourselves deeply and to come home to the quiet voice inside.

To meet ourselves not with judgment, but with tenderness and presence.

So how do we begin?

I believe it starts with deep listening.

With asking Yourself the questions you usually ask others.

With showing up for yourself the way you would for your dearest friend.

With being kind with yourself, but also being honest.

With making space for your “yes” and your “no”—and learning to trust both.

And with time, you might  notice something beautiful:

Maybe you stop abandoning yourself and you stop outsourcing your truth.

Maybe you become someone you can count on.

Maybe you become your own best friend.

Love,

Rosie x