The many faces of No

Over the past few posts, I’ve shared three very personal stories around the theme of saying no—and receiving no.

In “When I said No,” I shared a moment when I honoured my truth in a group setting at a tantra retreat, even when it was uncomfortable.

In “When I couldn’t say No,” I wrote about a time I felt something wasn’t right for me during a tantric massage session—but stayed silent, despite all I knew about consent and boundaries.

And in “When I struggled to receive a No,” I reflected on how I gently pushed past someone else’s boundary, because my own longing to feel that I matter took over.

I wanted to share all three—to offer a more complete picture of what a no can bring up, how it can feel, and how it can be met. Not from a place of perfection, but from a place of learning. These were real moments from my life. They weren’t always handled with full awareness, but always with good intentions—and a willingness to grow.

Because the truth is, saying no isn’t always simple...

It can stir up a fear of not being accepted, of not belonging, of being judged or misunderstood. Sometimes we’re not even aware that our body is saying no—because we’ve been so conditioned to override it. So we say yes, out of habit. Out of politeness. Out of a desire to please. Or because we simply freeze.

Often, we don’t say no because we don’t want to hurt someone else. We don’t want them to feel rejected. So instead… we reject our own voice.

But here’s the thing: people who truly care about us—who respect us—want us to honour ourselves. They want us to feel safe and aligned. And they can receive our no as the self-respecting act that it is.

And just as important, we need to become more aware of how we respond to someone else’s no.

Because sometimes… it touches something deeper inside us. A sense of abandonment. Of not being chosen. A wound we didn’t know was still tender. That, too, is a gift—an invitation to look inward, to offer compassion to the parts of us still healing.

In my work, and in my life, I believe that no and yes are both sacred. They are both acts of truth. And truth is what intimacy is built on.

So if you take anything from this little series, let it be this:

Your no is valid.

Your yes is powerful.

And both deserve to come from a place of choice, not pressure.

Thank you for reading, for feeling with me, and for being part of this conversation.

Love,

Rosie x