Think less, feel more

I was watching a film recently and something draw my attention.

It was a scene that had a difficult conversation in it, and the first question asked was ‘Would you like a drink?’

This is a reflection of what we do when things are emotionally difficult. We have a drink, we take a pill, we go on social media, we shop, we eat, we watch Netflix...

We numb ourselves, so we don’t feel. 

We disconnect from our feelings, from our bodies, from sensation. 

We’re taught, from the time we’re small, not to feel too much, too deeply. 

Or rather, we’re not taught to feel, to be with our emotions, to digest them, to learn from them. 

It’s a disconnect from the body. 

It’s a disconnect from our heart. 

It takes us out of being present. 

It takes us out of intimacy. 

And it takes us out of the possibility of deep pleasure. 

So much of what we do is about this disconnect. 

It’s about photoshopping our lives, our feelings, our love, our passion. 

It’s about creating neat little boxes with labels. 

Sometimes is hard to feel …painful …intense…

We move it into the mind, we analyze it, dissect it, look for understanding and meaning. 

Instead of feeling it. 

And when we do this, it disconnects us from pleasure. 

From intimacy, from life. 

Part of the picture of life we’ve been given is big houses, puppies, beaches and sunsets. 

Without everything else that real life also includes

Without our anger and fear, our uncertainty and loneliness, without rejection and without tears. 

Without revealing ourselves, all that we are, our deep desires, our vulnerability.

We’d rather not share it.  And not feel it.

Our love making and pleasure become the same.

Friction, hard, fast, goal orientated 

Porn s3x. 

Porn is part of the numbing, the fantasy that takes us out of ourselves. 

And I’m about to say something that may be a little unpopular. 

Vibrators are part of that. As wonderful as some of them are, they numb your body, numb your clit. 

When we’re looking for deeper pleasure, for deeper fulfillment, to have internal orgasms, we need to go into the body, into feelings, into sensation. 

Connected to this.

It’s fueled by what we’ve been told it should be, the story we’ve bought into, instead of what’s within us. 

It’s easier than sitting opposite you and looking into your eyes, seeing you, and know that you’re seeing me. 

Really seeing me, all of me. 

It’s easier than opening my heart. 

It’s easier than feeling, and feeling everything. 

The more we numb ourselves to the so-called negative emotions, the more we numb ourselves to pleasure, to love, to intimacy. 

Because… 

None of these things are isolated. 

They’re all connected, they’re all a part of us.

The part of us that hurts is also the part of us that loves. 

The part of us that desires is also the part of us that’s scared to share. 

The part of us that yearns for intimacy, longs for, craves, with every cell, every part of our being, is also the part of us that is so scared of that. 

There are many paths, that guide us on this journey into ourselves.

And one of them is Tantra.

Think less, feel more…

Love,

Rosie