Men and vulnerability

My journey with vulnerability started with watching Brene Brown's Ted talk:

 The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown

Simply put,

Vulnerability is consciously choosing to NOT hide your emotions or desires from others.

That’s it. You just freely express your thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions regardless of what others might think of you.

This can be as simple as complimenting someone on how good they look, approaching an attractive stranger you don’t know, establishing clear and strong boundaries, or expressing your love to someone.

It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that might not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, joining a table of people you don’t know, telling someone you’re attracted to them, talking about your dreams, fears and insecurities with your friends. Practicing vulnerability really is as simple as just doing these things. But while being more vulnerable is simple, it’s not always easy.

That’s because all of these things require you to stick your neck out emotionally in some way. It’s risky and there are often real consequences to being vulnerable.

But the key to true vulnerability is that you are willing to accept the consequences no matter what.

Men experience difficulty being vulnerable due to societal pressures of masculinity. You may feel the need to “man-up” or keep a tough self-image. You might hold yourself back from displaying emotions other than anger or happiness. Feelings of sadness, grief, and loneliness might be pushed deep down for men. These feelings may also become expressed during rage or other acts of anger due to the limited number of feelings men feel being “acceptable.” I heard the phrase 'Men who don't cry tears, cry bullets' in a podcasts and I find it so relevant to what is happening in the world right now.

Vulnerability in men might be considered a weakness due to the expectation that men remain strong and stoic throughout their lives. Most men are told growing up that crying is not “manly” or that feeling sad is not acceptable. Men might have difficulty opening up to others about their emotions, thoughts, and feelings.

In this episode, a group of friends are talking about how to overcome limiting beliefs about vulnerability and how to find ways to open meaningful conversations with friends, fathers or sons.

Man Enough Episode 2 - Let's Get Vulnerable

As social researcher Dr. Brene Brown said, “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

Brene Brown also describes how:

“ Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Love

Rosie