First experience of intimacy
Recently, I met a wonderful gentleman who had never experienced any kind of physical intimacy with a woman before. Our time together was very special, and he inspired me to write this article.
Over the years, I've welcomed a few gentlemen in similar circumstances. Some were younger adults, others more mature, and each had his own story and reasons.
I imagine there are many more men out there who have never experienced intimacy with a woman. And if you're one of them, reading this, I'd like you to know that you're not alone.
I wonder how many men feel shame about this, or worry that something is wrong with them because they haven't had the experiences that others seem to take for granted.
Perhaps you'd love to start dating and meet someone, but the thought of being physically close to a woman makes you nervous. You might worry about not knowing what to do, how your body will respond, or what she might think when she discovers you have no experience.
And perhaps, as the years go by, the pressure becomes greater, making that first step feel more and more difficult.
But intimacy is something very natural. You don't need to know a collection of techniques or have previous experience to enjoy being close to someone. So much of it is simply about being present, paying attention, feeling comfortable together and allowing things to unfold.
I also understand why a first experience can feel like such a big step. Some moments stay with us for a lifetime, and I think they deserve to be approached with care.
I still remember my very first kiss. I waited longer than most of my friends, and even now, I can remember that moment so vividly. I waited for my first s*exual experience too, I wanted it to be with someone I cared about, someone I felt close to and at a time when I felt truly ready.
Both experiences were beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing about them. They're memories I still hold very fondly.
Intimacy has always been something precious to me. I grew up surrounded by religious and cultural ideas about s*exuality, some of which brought unnecessary shame and confusion. Yet somehow, underneath all those expectations and messages about what I should or shouldn't do, I could still hear my own feelings. I knew what I wanted, what felt right for me, and when I was ready to share those moments with someone.
And I'm so glad I listened to myself, because those moments were mine, and I wanted them to feel special.
Perhaps this is why I feel such tenderness when I meet a man who has reached adulthood without experiencing intimacy. I know how much these first moments can mean, and I wonder what they might mean to someone who has waited many years. Perhaps he's imagined them, wondered about them or longed for them. Perhaps intimacy represents something much more than a physical encounter: affection, trust, closeness, or the experience of being welcomed by another person.
Of course, I also understand that not everyone has waited by choice. Perhaps you've wanted to experience closeness for a long time, but shyness, circumstances or fear have made it difficult. I hope you know there's nothing embarrassing about that, and it certainly doesn't make you any less deserving of affection.
Whatever your story, if you choose to share such a personal moment with me, I would receive your trust with great tenderness and reverence.
Of course, what I offer is different from making love with someone, but a tantric massage is still an intimate encounter.
For some men, it can be a gentle introduction to physical closeness with a woman, an opportunity to become familiar with touch, with their own body and with being held, without the pressure of intercourse or feeling they must know what to do.
We can begin very simply, perhaps with cuddling, holding hands or lying close together. Feeling the warmth of another body, the weight of a woman resting against you, discovering what it's like to hold someone and be held yourself.
We might then continue with a relaxing massage, and if you feel comfortable, explore sensuality and intimate massage too. Sometimes I might simply hold your lingam in my hands, without movement or any expectation that your body should respond in a particular way.
You don't need to become erect, reach an orgasm or respond in any particular way. We can take our time, talk, laugh, pause, and discover what feels comfortable and lovely for you.
And if you feel shy or nervous, that's perfectly welcome too,I'll do my best to help you feel comfortable, and we can always slow down, pause or change what we're doing.
Perhaps this experience will help you feel more at ease when you begin dating or meet someone special. And you can still keep the experience of intercourse for a relationship.
You're very welcome to write to me beforehand and tell me a little about yourself, how you feel and what you're hoping to experience. We can plan our time together with some of the thoughtfulness and excitement of preparing for a first date, while keeping everything within the gentle, caring space of a massage session.
I don't think anyone should feel pressured to experience intimacy simply to reach a milestone or catch up with others. But equally, we shouldn’t let shame or fear to keep us from exploring something we genuinely long for.
Whether you choose to see me, explore intimacy with someone else in a professional setting or wait until you meet someone, I hope you make that choice because it feels right for you.
And if you do choose to share this first experience with me, I'd love to make it something you remember fondly.
Love,
Rosie x