Slowness- a gateway to pleasure

Most of us move through the world quickly from task to task, place to place. One thing finished, another already beginning. We carry our bodies along as something functional, rather than something we deeply feel. And slowly, almost without noticing, that speed enters everything: the way we eat, the way we think, the way we touch.

Even intimacy can become another movement towards an ending, another place to arrive at, with the journey itself forgotten in the need to get somewhere.

And yet, I think our bodies long for something else.

There is another way of moving through touch, a slower rhythm that begins to emerge when there is nowhere to rush to, when the hands are no longer trying to achieve something and can simply listen.

When touch slows down, something interesting can happen. The body begins to soften, breathing becomes deeper and sensations that might otherwise pass unnoticed become more vivid. A gentle touch can feel surprisingly pleasurable when we give ourselves enough time to experience it.

And sometimes this happens most naturally when another person guides us there. When someone touches us slowly enough that our own body begins to follow that rhythm too.

I think many of us are longing for this kind of slowness without fully realising it: to be met without hurry, to feel that someone is truly present with us, paying attention, allowing us to simply be.

There is also something beautiful that happens when we slow down and we learn to stay with pleasure.

We are often accustomed to increasing pleasurable sensations, moving towards something more intense, towards a peak. But what if we find a level of pleasure that feels really lovely and simply remain there?

At first, slowing down this much might feel unfamiliar, perhaps even a little boring. The mind might become impatient, wondering what comes next.

But if we give ourselves time, there can be a moment when something shifts.

We become absorbed in the sensations. The warmth, the softness, the little waves of pleasure moving through the body. We are no longer thinking about what should happen next, because what we're feeling right now is so enjoyable.

It's a little like becoming completely absorbed in something we love doing, when we lose track of time and simply enjoy the experience.

There is a kind of flow we can enter with our own bodies, where pleasure is no longer something we're trying to reach, but something we're immersed in.

And slowness can be a gateway into that space.

The next time you touch yourself, or someone you love, perhaps try slowing down a little more than feels natural at first. Allow your hand to rest somewhere before moving again, notice the warmth of the skin, its texture, the sensations underneath your fingers. Give yourself time to feel what is already there.

And when you find something that feels lovely, stay with it for a while, become curious about it. Notice how the sensation changes, how it might grow, soften or spread.

You might discover that pleasure can become richer and last longer when you stop trying to move it towards a particular destination.

I also feel that learning to relate to pleasure in this way can gradually influence how we experience other parts of our lives.

Perhaps we begin to enjoy our food differently, taking time to really taste it instead of eating while thinking about the next thing we need to do. We might stop to appreciate a flower, the warmth of the sun on our skin, or become more present when we're spending time with someone.

We may begin to notice how often our minds are already somewhere else, and gently learn to return to what we're experiencing.

I've been exploring slowness in my own life for some time, and it's something I write about in my book, through little stories and poems about moments when I allow myself to stop, feel and appreciate what is around me.

I think there is so much pleasure available to us in ordinary life, and we often miss it simply because we're moving too quickly and I feel that learning to slow down is also a way of learning to enjoy being alive a little more.

Love,

Rosie x

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