Pleasure is so much more

Another lesson I learned from my Month with my yoni is about how I relate to pleasure. I've realised that pleasure is so much more than just a moment of bliss. It’s often mistaken for something quick or fleeting- an orgasm, a rush of excitement, a spark that burns and disappears. But pleasure, real pleasure, is much deeper than that. It’s not just about arousal or being turned on. It’s about nourishment,  presence in your body, safety and about coming home to the senses.

There is pleasure in our senses: in the way sunlight hits the surface of water, in the taste of fruit that melts on your tongue, in the sound of music that moves something inside you. There is pleasure in the softness of skin, in the scent of something familiar, in the peace that lands in your chest after a long breath. These moments may seem ordinary, but when we slow down and really feel them, they become extraordinary. They remind us that pleasure isn’t just something we chase, it’s something we allow and is all around us.

And then there’s sexual pleasure. That realm of sensation and intimacy that can feel like a universe opening inside the body. But not everyone experiences it easily. Some people struggle to feel it at all, while others find it comes in waves, sometimes shallow, sometimes deep. For years, I searched for a kind of map, a formula for that deeper, more expansive pleasure. I was curious why sometimes it felt distant and unreachable, and other times, it came so naturally, like a river that had always been there, waiting.

What I’ve come to understand is this: pleasure begins with safety. Feeling safe in your body, safe in your environment and safe with the other person. Safety allows the body to relax, and relaxation is the soil where pleasure grows. If your mind is racing or your nervous system is activated, if there’s tension, fear, or pressure to perform, pleasure struggles to land. But when there is safety, when trust is present, trust in your body, in your sensations, in the moment...that’s when the body begins to soften and that’s when you open to expansive pleasure.

True pleasure moves through a body that is receptive, not tensed. It rises when you’re not trying to control it, when you’re simply being. And in that space, pleasure becomes more than just sensation, it becomes a form of healing.

It can show you where you’ve been holding, where you’ve been closed, where there are still parts of you waiting to be touched with care, with attention, with love. When we allow ourselves to feel pleasure fully, we begin to make more room for it not just in the bedroom, but in life. We begin to choose what feels good, what feels aligned, what nourishes us. We make space for slowness, for beauty, for breathing deeper. And in doing so, we begin to rewrite the stories we’ve carried about what we deserve.

Pleasure is a doorway, an invitation to feel more, to soften more, to live more. To remember that joy, ease, and sensuality are not luxuries. They are our birth rights. And when we make room for them, transformation happens not only in the body, but in how we live, how we love, and how we relate to the world.

Love,

Rosie x