‘‘What if my medication affects my libido or sexual response?’’

I've had guests come to see me who were taking medication that affected their libido, their ability to have or maintain an erection, or the time it took them to reach orgasm and sometimes their capacity to orgasm at all.

I understand that this can be a delicate thing to even mention. Sexual response can feel incredibly personal and it isn't always easy to tell someone you've just met that your body doesn't respond in the way you would like it to. I do feel that people are becoming more open about these things, though, and I'm glad they are.

If this is something you're experiencing, you're very welcome to tell me before your session. Knowing can actually be helpful, especially if it's something you're worried about or if you're arriving with a little voice in your head wondering whether your body is going to "work".

My approach is to take that pressure away as much as possible.

I want to mention a few things: there is no expectation to become aroused, to have an erection or maintain one throughout the massage. You don't need to orgasm. Your body doesn't need to show to either of us that it is enjoying something.

I would suggest approaching our time together with curiosity and openness.

We don't really know what might unfold, you might experience pleasure in ways you weren't expecting, you might notice warmth, relaxation, tingling, emotion, comfort, a sense of connection or simply the pleasure of being touched and deeply cared for. You might become aroused and then lose that arousal. You might feel very little for a while and then notice something changing. All of this is okay.

Sometimes we become so focused on the signs we associate with s*exual pleasure: erections, lubrication, strong arousal and orgasm, that we can miss the quieter ways our bodies experience pleasure. There can be something quite freeing about putting the expected destination aside and becoming curious about what is actually happening in your body instead.

And perhaps your body will surprise you. That's part of why I like the word curiosity. We aren't beginning with a conclusion about what your body can or cannot experience. We are simply giving it time, touch and attention and meeting what is there.

From my experience and feedback, a beautiful session doesn't have to end in orgasm to have been meaningful or pleasurable. There are many ways to receive, feel and connect with your body.

Of course, if you are concerned about the s*exual side effects of medication, that is something to discuss with the clinician who prescribed it. I wouldn't recommend stopping, reducing or changing your medication in preparation for a session.

But you don't need to wait for your libido to return or for your body to respond in a particular way before having a tantric massage.

Come as you are, and we can meet your body where it is that day, without expectation, and with plenty of curiosity about what it might be open to feel.

Love,

Rosie x